Be the Village: How to Be a Good Neighbour this Fall

4 hours ago

4 min read

Written by Connie Jakab, Campus Pastor – Ogden Community Church

We often say, “It takes a village to raise a child.”

But what happens when there is no village?

That is what I find myself thinking about as families head into another school year.

For many families in Calgary, back to school isn't simply backpacks, new shoes and first-day photos. It means figuring out school fees, lunches, transportation, childcare and another schedule that somehow has to fit around work. It means parents looking at the price of groceries and wondering how they're going to make everything stretch. It means children heading back to school carrying anxiety, big emotions, learning challenges or mental health struggles that don't disappear because summer is over.

And it means a lot of parents are tired. Not "I need a good night's sleep" tired, the kind of tired that comes from carrying too much for too long without enough people around you to help carry it.

The Pressure Families are Facing

One of the biggest things I'm noticing is that many families simply don't have a village of support around them, and it's not a lower-income issue anymore. We are all feeling the pressure. The cost of living has increased. Parents are working incredibly hard just to keep up. Calendars are full. Mental health needs are significant. Kids are struggling with anxiety, emotional regulation, belonging and connection. Parents are trying to support their children while managing their own stress.

Sometimes we look at a family and assume they're doing fine because the kids are dressed well, they have a home and the parents are working, but we don't know what happens behind closed doors. We don't know about the child who hasn't wanted to go to school for 3 mornings. We don't know about the parent lying awake worrying about their teenager. We don't know that groceries went on the already maxed-out credit card again. We don't know that a mom hasn't had a meaningful conversation with another adult in days. We don't know that a couple hasn't had a night out together in a year because they don't have anyone they trust to watch their kids. We don't know who is surviving rather than flourishing.

Need doesn't always look like poverty. Sometimes it looks like isolation. Sometimes it looks like exhaustion. Sometimes it looks like a child who needs another safe adult in their corner. Sometimes it looks like a parent who desperately needs someone to say, "I've got you."

What if being a good neighbour is easier than we think?

When we hear about the challenges families are facing, it's easy to think we need to create a program, donate a large amount of money or become someone's counsellor. Most of us don't have the capacity for that, but we do have the capacity to notice. I think we've underestimated the power of ordinary neighbourliness like:

Invite the family next door over for pizza.
Ask another parent if their child wants to walk to school with yours.
When you're going to Costco, text someone and ask, "Do you need anything?"
Offer to take someone's kids for 2 hours.
Make twice as much soup and bring half to a neighbour.
Invite the new family at school to sit with you at the school event.
If you're heading to the park, ask another parent and their kids to come along.
Notice the teen who seems to be having a hard time and learn their name.
When someone tells you they're struggling, resist the urge to immediately fix it. Sit with them. Listen.

None of these things will make the news, but they might change someone's week, and sometimes changing someone's week is exactly what they need.

Start with one family

If someone asked me where to start this fall, I would say: don't try to help everyone.

Notice one family.

Look around. Who lives on your street? Who sits alone at school pickup? Which parent always seems rushed? Who recently moved into the neighbourhood? Whose child plays with yours? Who haven't you seen in a while? Who comes to mind when you ask yourself, "I wonder how they're really doing?" Then do something wonderfully simple.

Ask them over.

Bring them coffee.

Send the text.

Offer the ride.

Share the meal.

Learn their names.

And perhaps most importantly, keep showing up. Because a village isn't created through one big act of generosity. A village is created through hundreds of small moments that communicate:

You are seen.

You belong here.

You don't have to carry everything alone.

I spend a lot of my time thinking about how we create stronger, more resilient communities. And I keep coming back to this: resilience doesn't only live inside individuals. It lives between us. People are more resilient when they have people. Children are more resilient when they know there are safe adults who care about them. Parents are more resilient when there are people they can call. Communities are more resilient when neighbours move from simply living beside one another to actually knowing one another.

Maybe that's the invitation for all of us this fall. We don't have to solve the pressures families are facing. We don't have to become everyone's village. But we can become part of someone's. Look around your neighbourhood and ask one simple question: Who could use a little more 'village' around them? and then take one small step toward them.

Being a good neighbour isn't complicated. Sometimes it starts with knocking on a door and saying, "Hey, we're having pizza. Want to come over?"

Joining Jesus in your neighbourhood and the renewal of all things can be that simple.

Curious about how you can join Jesus in what He’s doing in Calgary and beyond? Pray first, and ask God to point you in the right direction, then explore ways to help and give through our community outreach and global partnerships at FAC.